You are big. There is so much of you. I guess you knew that already. I want to hate you. I want you to embody everything I think is wrong with America. The cars. The eternal sprawl. The fuck you I've got mines. Is it the earthquakes that keep you from building up at all? London isn't that tall. The apartment building I'm looking at is as tall as London; it seems to be in one piece.
A beautifully Hollywood couple just walked by me. Maybe I just want a fancy car. Maybe I wouldn't complain at all if I had a Hummer and could afford the gas to power it from my house on the hill to my job that I hate. Maybe it would be worth it if I got to bang the beautiful faux hippie who's underwear I can sort of see.
What is the greatest good? Is human society the apex? Is it worth fighting for? Is it worth destroying our forests so that we can make science and movies? If god never really existed anyway... fuck that. Who really went about their business because of god? A few people, schon. Aber die meisten?
If I really just want to pass on my genetic material... If I can create an entire institution, my children and my brainchild will live on after me, and because my son is a Guggenheim, because my son's father spent four years throwing his mind at the walls and leaders of an institution that is somebody's brainchild, because I have a building, my great grandson is totally going to get laid. A lot.
And if we are social beings, if we gain status by aligning ourselves with a group of people and proving that we are the best at being that group, suddenly it doesn't matter what we believe - only that we believe. Thank goodness there are so many pursuits. Thank goodness I don't have to be nice to everyone.
(written during visit to L.A. - January, 2008)
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